Bonds Unbroken
by Princess Tyler Briefs
Summary: Tragedy is not unknown to the Tracy family and on the anniversary of their mother's death the boys will face another of their own.
1. Stars

**A/N:** Hey ya'll I'm PTB! I've come to visit my friend Emma...  
  
**_Halo:_** _waves excitedly  
_  
In England, and she's got me hooked on Thunderbirds. So, we decided that while I'm here, we're going to write Thunderbirds fics, and here's the first one! Um...have tissues...also, all of our stories are based on both the series (which Halo watched as a little girl) and the movie (which I've seen )  
  
**Disclaimer:** We don't own the boys, or anyone else. Gomen.  
  
**Authors:** PTB and Halo  
  
**Title:** **_Bonds Unbroken_**

* * *

_"The golden moments in the stream of life rush past us and we see nothing but sand; the angels come to visit us, and we only know them when they are gone." George Elliot_

* * *

This morning at the Tracy house was abnormally quiet. All of the Tracys were sitting quietly around the table, including John who was visiting from Thunderbird 5. Brains, Fermat, TinTin, and the rest had cleared out, knowing today was the day to give the boys space, because the anniversary of their mother's death.  
  
The gathering at breakfast was quiet, so unusual form the normal chaos in the household. The silence had become a custom on the anniversary of their mother's death, a time of contemplation and remembrance.  
  
Scott slowly stirred his untouched cereal and surveyed each face, slowly going around the table. His dad sat at the head of the table, across from him. Jeff hadn't even touched his silverware, let alone his food. His eyes were an unreadable mixture of anger and grief. Obviously, even after all these years, he still blamed himself for his wife's death.  
  
Beside Jeff sat Virgil, the middle of the Tracy children. Of the younger three, Virgil was the only one who could clearly remember their mother, and it seemed to pain him. He was taking slow, small, bites of his food, but he didn't seem to taste it at all.  
  
Next to Virgil sat Alan, who was as silent as the rest of them. He couldn't really remember their mother, having been only a few years old at the time, but even he could feel the hole in their family her death had created, and that hurt him.  
  
To his left, Scott looked at Gordon. He, too, had been young when their mother was killed, but he had a few vague memories of her that he treasured. Scott wondered vaguely which one he was thinking of now.  
  
Beside Gordon sat John. Beside himself, John had the clearest memory of their mother. They'd both been almost teens at the time, and it had nearly devastated them, John more so than him because he'd been closer to her. This day was always the hardest for John. As Scott was looking at him in concern, John looked at him. As their eyes met from across the table, Scott suddenly had a sinking feeling in his stomach, but he couldn't quite place what it was from, so he ignored it and looked away, continuing to stir his now soggy cereal.  
  
"What was mom like?"  
  
The elder Tracy brothers turned to Alan and gazed at him. Alan felt a little uncomfortable under their gaze.  
  
"I mean, I can see her face in my mind, but I don't remember her."  
  
"May I be excused, dad?" Jeff looked at John's pained face, and nodded.  
  
As John left the table, Scott turned to Alan, "she was a really sweet lady, Alan. Always patient and always smiling. She's the one who taught John to love the stars."  
  
"She's the one who taught John to be John," Virgil put in.  
  
"Would she have liked me?" Alan asked quietly.  
  
"Yeah, Alan," Gordon whispered, "she would have."  
  
The rest of them remained silent, staring at their food. Finally Jeff stood, "well boys, should we go? Alan, go get John."  
  
"Yes, dad." Alan replied. He left the kitchen and went to his elder brother's room, and knocked on the door. "John?"  
  
The blond didn't respond, but Alan decided to go in anyway. John was sitting on his bed, looking a lot like a statue, the only picture he had of his mother in his hand. It showed him, probably about five years old, proudly holding his first telescope with both hands, her arms around his shoulders, and both were smiling.  
  
Alan shut the door softly behind him, and whispered softly, "John? You okay?"  
  
"Yeah squirt, I'm okay," John said quietly. Alan walked over and sat beside John, and then saw the photo.  
  
"Is that mom?"  
  
"Yep," John smiled at his brother, though it was a smile that didn't quite reach his charming blue eyes, and wrapped a warm arm around his shoulder, "she was always going on about all the great things her baby Alan could do. She really loved you, squirt. Don't you forget that."  
  
"I wish I could remember her," Alan admitted, "you all do, but I don't. It makes me feel bad."  
  
John stared at Alan for a moment, then slowly reached into the drawer beside his bed where he kept all his precious things. He pulled out a silver chain, with a silver star pendant attached to it, and gently placed it in Alan's hand.  
  
Alan blinked and stared at it for a moment before looking at John. "What's this?"  
  
"Mother gave it to me," John whispered, bumping his forehead against Alan's, "and now I'm giving it to you. When I was little, and Mother was going to have Virgil, she sent me to stay with Grandma. I was scared, but she gave me that and told me that whenever I was afraid, or lonely, if I looked up at the stars she'd be right there with me, on the inside."  
  
"Wow," Alan breathed, letting John put the charm around his neck, "thanks John." He hugged his elder brother.  
  
"No problem, baby brother," John smiled sadly, fondly ruffling Alan's hair, "so we leaving? I'll get my stuff."  
  
It was Tracy family tradition to visit their mother's grave every year, and place upon it something that symbolized something important that had happened that past year, as well as a letter written to her. No one else read the letters, but Jeff and the boys found it to be healing.  
  
The five brothers and their father made the grave on the highest hill so it overlooked the rest of the island and the sea. They stood there together, each of them holding an item and a letter.  
  
Jeff went forward first, with a picture of the boys, taken just this past Christmas, and a letter fondly addressed, "To my Lucille". Scott followed him, with a thank you note that a little girl had taped to Thunderbird One, with his own letter. After Scott went Virgil, because all present knew that John wanted to be last. The middle Tracy child put a picture of his new girlfriend and him by Scott's letter, and put his own letter on top of that, followed by Gordon's soccer trophy, and Alan's first straight A report card.  
  
Finally John approached, and silently and laid a picture he'd painted of a passing comet, in all its glory, on the grave, and tenderly placed the thick envelope at the bottom of the frame.  
  
They had a moment's silence between them, wrapping their arms around each other's shoulders. The wind blew through their hair and across their skin and they could swear they felt their mother's presence.  
  
After a few minutes Jeff spoke, "Well boys, duty can't wait forever. Let's go."  
  
As they headed back they were met by Fermat, who looked like he had run a marathon, "Mister Tracy! There's a big emergency!"  
  
"What's going on Fermat?" Alan asked his friend in concern.  
  
"It's the Hood!" Fermat panted. "He's taken a-a bunch of p-p-people hostage!"  
  
"Let's go team!" Scott yelled.  
  
"You can ride with me!" Alan called to John.  
  
The Tracy's were quick to get back to base and were even quicker getting into their Thunderbirds and headed off to where the Hood had imprisoned his hostages.  
  
"We'll be there in no time!" Virgil said, and indeed this proved true. The flight across the ocean seemed to take only a few seconds.  
  
The Thunderbirds landed just outside of a large building site, people who had gathered to watch lingered nearby. The five brothers looked at each other and with a mutual nod they headed into the danger zone.  
  
"Let them go Hood!" Scott yelled out loud and in his mind. "If it's us you want then come and get us!"  
  
There was no answer.  
  
As the brothers began walking around quietly and cautiously something caught Alan's eye and with a narrowed expression he ran off in one direction, separating himself from his brothers.  
  
"Alan!" John yelled, moving to follow, but quickly finding himself face to face with a muscular, ugly henchman.  
  
"Alan stop!" Scott called, also trying to reach for him, but soon surrounded as well.  
  
Alan ran on ahead, unaware of his brother's predicament.  
  
"Hello Alan."  
  
Alan spun around and saw, through the darkness, the Hood. Alan clenched his jaw.  
  
"Let the people go," he growled.  
  
"I don't think so, little Alan. If I started just letting people go, there would be no one to keep your brothers busy, besides my henchmen. Though they may be all I need."  
  
Alan glared daggers and yelled in anger and ran to punch the Hood, but a psychic force stopped him before throwing him into a wall. Alan cried out in pain before trying to get back on his feet.  
  
"Alan!" A familiar voice yelled, mingling with a clap of thunder from the quickly gathering storm clouds over head. The hood, caught off guard, took John's powerful punch full in the face.  
  
Alan looked up and saw John punch the Hood and smiled, but as John came towards him Alan's eyes went wide, "JOHN! LOOK OUT!"  
  
John fell on his face; the heavy metal piece The Hood had sent his way knocking him down as lightening flashed overhead, and the rain began to fall in torrents, quickly soaking everything.  
  
"Let him alone," Alan screamed as the Hood advanced on his fallen brother, "it's me you want! Kill me!"  
  
"My dear boy," the Hood sneered, "why would I want to kill you when I can hurt you in much worse ways than death?"  
  
Suddenly John found himself dangling in the air and couldn't breathe.  
  
"John!" Alan screamed again. He knew, he knew what the Hood was going to do, and he had to stop it. He got to his fee, jumping for his brother's feet, falling just a few millimetres short, all the while screaming, "Scott! Virgil, Gordon, somebody help him! Please!"  
  
Alan could hear John's chocked, weak gasps for air as he was slowly being suffocated. Alan cried loudly and grabbed for John's legs as the Hood lifted him higher. "LET HIM GO! STOP IT!"  
  
"John! Alan!" Scott yelled, trying to race to his brothers' aid, only to get stopped by an invisible wall, sending him flat on his back.  
  
"Scott!" Virgil and Gordon both yelled, but the oldest Tracy brother ignored them.  
  
He got to his feet and ran at the wall, bracing himself this time. When it again wouldn't let him through he began to bang on it with his fists. "No!" He screamed, "No!"  
  
"I'll tell you what, little Alan," the hood laughed, raising John still higher as Alan tried to jump again, "if you can reach him, I'll let him go. If you can just touch him, he will be spared. That's all. But if not..." he tightened his mental hold on John, who gasped more, and struggled to get free.  
  
Alan looked up in desperation at John before setting a determined face and began to jump as high as he could, screaming in frustration every time as he missed.  
  
"Come on, Alan! All you have to do is touch him!" Gordon yelled, now standing next to Scott, with Virgil on his other side. The seconds became eternity as slowly, slowly, John began to stop struggling, and Alan's screams of frustration became louder and more desperate.  
  
Finally John was hanging completely limp, and the Hood laughed. Releasing John and the wall at the same time, he half stumbled, half leaped up on the craft his minions drove up behind him.  
  
As he caught John's limp body, cradling it gently, Alan heard, as if from a distance, "and remember, little Alan, you could have saved him..."  
  
**End A/N:** Thus ends the first chapter! We hope you liked it, and we'll have more up as soon as we're finished ;.  
  
Don't forget to push the review button,  
  
**_PTB and Halo_**


	2. Chains

**A/N: **Hooray for reviews! Anyway um...yeah Halo doesn't remember a lot about the TV show, so they are somewhat movie based, but that's okay because I thought the movie wasn't too bad.  
  
**Title:** **_Bonds Unbroken_**  
  
_Chapter 2: Chains_

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_"We cannot destroy kindred: our chains stretch a little sometimes, but they never break." Marquise de Sévign_

* * *

"Alan! John!" Scott yelled, running through the mud and then dropping to his knees in it as he reached his brothers' side.  
  
Alan was holding John's limp body as if in shock, and he was sitting positively rigid.  
  
John's skin was deathly pale, almost ashen, and his lips were blue tinged. Panic-stricken, Scott put his hand next to John's mouth. Nothing, not even a whisper of a breath. He pulled his hand back like he'd been burned. "No...oh please...no..."  
  
Virgil and Gordon rushed over as well, but froze in shock at the sight of John lying limp in Alan's arms.  
  
"No..." Virgil whispered, watching as Scott took John's body from Alan's yielding arms.  
  
"Wake up, John," Scott whispered to his younger brother. "Come on. Wake up." Scott suddenly seemed to become angry, and gave John a little shake, causing his head to roll lifelessly from side to side. "Come on John, this isn't funny! Wake up, damn it!"  
  
"Scott," Virgil whispered, laying his hands on Scott's shoulders, "stop. Please."  
  
Gordon reached over and took John carefully from Scott's arms. He checked his breathing, his pulse, everything, but when he found no signs of life he clutched John's body close, and cried into his hair.  
  
Alan watched them for a moment, the shock and disbelief too much. Then, a few seconds later, let out a despairing and agonized scream that seemed to echo throughout the world, "JOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHN!"  
  
The flight home seemed to take forever for the brothers, each one lost in their own thoughts and feelings. Scott, feeling it was his responsibility as eldest, rode with John's body, and led the way home.  
  
He it was who carried John's body inside, "Dad?"  
  
Jeff got to his feet; at first not noticing something was a miss as his sons entered the room. "Hello boys, how did it..." he trailed off, noticing each tearstained and sorrowful face, "What's wrong?"  
  
Scott stepped foreword, John's head resting on his shoulder. He laid him on the couch and stepped to the side as Jeff knelt in shock by his son, taking his cold limp hand.  
  
"John?" Jeff tried, gently reaching up to brush a few wayward blond strands off his cold forehead. "John, it's me. It's dad. Come on, John. Can you open your eyes for me? Please? Please, John, just open your eyes..."  
  
Gordon looked away as his dad, the man he'd always esteemed as an untouchable giant, broke down into tears like a child, rubbing John's hand with his thumb and pleading with him to just look at him.  
  
When his pleading had subsided for the moment, Scott continued, "It was the Hood. He...he strangled him. And we 't..." Scott trailed off, to flooded with emotion to continue.  
  
Jeff didn't seem to have heard him. He seemed lost in his own world, and indeed he was as mages of John as a laughing little boy, a gentle teen, and a man with an easy smile were all flashing across his mind like a movie in super fast foreword. "My John," he whispered, "my poor little boy..." then the invincible Jeff Tracy lay his head on his son's still chest and cried as if his heart were literally breaking into a thousand pieces.  
  
There was complete and utter silence, other than the sobbing and it wasn't just coming from Jeff. TinTin buried her face in her father's chest, while Brains held his son tightly against him.  
  
Then another voice spoke, Alan's voice. "It was my fault. I...I couldn't reach him." And the youngest Tracy son left. No one moved to stop him, for that was John's job, but John wasn't there, and never would be again.  
  
When Lady Penelope arrived a half-hour later, the house was the exact opposite of what she was used to. No bright, smiling, enthusiastic boys, only shadows of their normal selves.  
  
Scott was sitting, staring at a wall, no emotion on his face. Virgil was sitting beside him on the floor, his knees pulled up to his chest, tears in his eyes. George was sitting in a corner, looking defeated. She didn't see Alan anywhere, so she stepped farther into the room.  
  
She froze when she saw John, and Jeff still seated beside him.  
  
"Oh my..." she whispered, then, "Jeff, darling, what happened?"  
  
Jeff said absolutely nothing; he looked catatonic as he still held one of John's cold hands.  
"It was the Hood," Scott whispered. "He killed John. He's dead."  
  
"Kyano said it was bad," the lady in pink whispered, "but not this bad." She walked over to Jeff and laid her hands on his shoulders. "Come on Jeff. Lets go make you a nice cup of tea."  
  
"No," he panicked, "what if he wakes up and he's scared. He'll need me here!"  
  
Penelope felt her heart breaking as she looked into his tear-filled brown eyes, "Oh Jeff, he isn't going to wake up."  
  
In a dark corner of Alan's room, the youngest Tracy son was curled up into a ball, trying to become part of the wall.  
  
John, his beloved big brother was dead. Never again would he see him smile, hear his voice again, or feel his arms wrapped around him to comfort him. A strangled sob escaped his throat. John was dead, and it was all his fault.  
  
"I'm going to check on Alan," Virgil whispered, feeling he couldn't bear his dad protesting John's death anymore. The middle child, middle child no longer, of the Tracys' walked toward the dark room and knocked on the door. "Alan? It's Virgil. May I come in?"  
  
Alan was silent as Virgil came into his room and he remained silent as his older brother walked over towards him, but when Virgil reached to touch him, he flinched.  
  
Virgil noticed this, and dropped his hand before he actually touched his little brother. They sat in silence for several minutes before Virgil gathered his courage and managed to whisper, "Alan...I'm so sorry. I know how much you must miss him already." Tears came to Virgil's eyes, as he thought about a Christmas, or a birthday without his blond haired, laughing, gentle big brother.  
  
Alan still said nothing. It was as if he wasn't really there at all, like all light and hope had fled from his body just as John's soul had fled from his own body.  
  
"Alan?" Virgil's voice was soft and frightened now. "Alan please don't do this to me. Talk to me, Alan. Alan. Alan!"  
  
In his mind Alan could suddenly see his dead brother and Virgil's voice became John's. "Alan. Alan. Save me Alan."  
  
"Alan! Wake up, Alan! You're scaring me! Alan!"  
  
Alan suddenly slumped forward against Virgil, his eyes rolling into the back of his head.  
  
"DAD! SCOTT! SOMEBODY!" Virgil's piercing yelp of terror momentarily snapped the house out of its silent mourning state. Everyone ran pell-mell towards Alan's room to see what was the matter.  
  
"What happened?" Scott asked, horrified.  
  
"He wouldn't talk to me and he suddenly slumped foreword!"  
  
Jeff ran foreword and cradled Alan gently. "Come on Alan," he whispered, "its time to wake up now."  
  
"He's exhausted Jeff." Penelope said, "You all are. You should try and get some sleep."  
  
Jeff nodded, tucking Alan gently into bed. "Come on boys we'll," Jeff's voice broke as he continued, "we'll make an announcement to the press and tell all of John's friends tomorrow."  
  
The boys silently agreed and headed out of Alan's room, going to their own rooms for the night, but they got precious little sleep, all of them plagued by nightmares.  
  
The next day was John's funeral, and though Alan was there for all of it, he later was unable to remember the day until late that evening when he wound up outside by the pool.  
  
The star pendant had found its way out from under his shirt, and into his hand. The metal was warm against his hand, and he'd found he wanted, no needed, to see the stars. As he'd walked out beside the pool, searching for the first evening stars, Gordon had come up behind him.  
  
"Isn't that Mom's star?" Gordon asked, knowing she had given it to John and John had always worn it.  
  
"Yes." Alan replied quietly. "John gave it to me yesterday."  
  
Gordon felt rage boil up inside him, that same jealousy he had always felt whenever he saw John and Alan together. He had idolized his elder brother, but the only person John had ever seen, ever would see, was Alan. Without thinking, Thunderbird 4's pilot blurted, "Oh you mean yesterday as in the day you let him die? That yesterday Alan?" Gordon saw the surprise and hurt in his younger brother's eyes, and some part of him felt guilty, but it was a small and insignificant part. "All you had to do was touch him, Alan! That's all! You couldn't even just touch him, after everything he'd done for you!"  
  
Alan yelped when he found himself on the receiving end of a hard punch. Gordon tackled Alan and the pair went tumbling down the steps towards the pool, the star pendant flying from Alan's hands.  
  
"He would have died to save you! Do you hear me, Alan! He would have give anything to keep you safe and you, damn it, you can't even touch him!"  
  
"Hey!" Two pairs of hands entered the fight and pulled Gordon and Alan apart. Virgil held a shocked and hurt Alan, looking surprised himself, while Scott held a struggling Gordon, but Scott looked furious.  
  
"That's enough!" He yelled.  
  
"He couldn't touch him, Scott! He killed him, Scott! Alan killed him! And I'm going to make him pay for it!" Gordon tore away from Scott's grasp, and knocked both Virgil and Alan down, kicking, hitting, and scratching anything he could touch, so blinded by his rage he either couldn't tell, or just didn't care, whether it was Alan or Virgil he was hurting. "Everything he ever did was for you, Alan! He didn't care about the rest of us, only you! And you let him die! All you had to do was touch him!"  
  
"Gordon! Stop!" Virgil yelled and he helped Scott hold their younger brother firm. "This isn't going to solve anything!"  
  
Alan didn't move from his place on the floor, tears streaming down his face. In his mind Gordon's words sank deeply, after all he was right; he just had to touché him and it was the one thing he couldn't do.  
  
Gordon didn't seem to hear his brothers; he just fought against their grasp, and saw that Alan was hurting, and wanting to hurt him more. "How hard is it, Alan, to just touch someone? He would have done it for you! He would have found a way! He'd have done anything for his precious Alan! John was stronger than you'll ever be! It should have been you. Do you hear me Alan? It should have been you!"  
  
"Enough!" Scott roared, now punching Gordon. Virgil jumped out of the way as Gordon launched himself at Scott and the pair tumbled to the ground again.  
  
"Boys!" All four of the Tracy boys froze and turned to see Lady Penelope standing opposite them, her arms folded across her chest. She did not look pleased. "Now that is enough! I don't want to hear any more words like that from ANY of you and I don't want to hear or see any more fighting! Understand?"  
  
Gordon looked ready to ague with her as well, but Virgil quickly clamped his mouth shut. "Yes Lady Penelope. We understand."  
  
She didn't look convinced, but gently took Alan's hand and led him away, leaving Gordon to death glare Virgil and Scott to keep him in check. They walked in silence for a while before Lady Penelope finally spoke again.  
  
"How about you come stay with me for a bit, Alan? I think getting away from here for a while would do you good."  
  
Alan was silent for a moment, staring at his empty hands; not seeming bothered by all the punches and bruises Gordon had given him. "I-I lost mom's star," he whispered, "just like I lost John. I couldn't hold on to it."  
  
Having no idea what she was supposed to say, she led him into the kitchen, where Jeff was already sitting, and sat him down across from his dad, "you just sit here, love, and let me make you a nice cup of tea." She got down a mug, pulled a little tea bag out of her purse, and got some water on to boil, and then turned to the head of the Tracy household. "Jeff, can I talk to you outside for a moment?"  
  
"We can talk here."  
  
She gave him a fierce look, and nodded at Alan, who was sitting and staring at his hands dejectedly. A light came on in Jeff Tracy's head.  
  
"Oh. Right."  
  
Lady Penelope and Jeff Tracy walked outside to talk while Alan sat perfectly still, Gordon's words repeating over and over again in his head. "Gordon's right," he whispered to himself, "I killed John. I killed my own brother. It should have been me."  
  
"I'm worried about him, Jeff," the pink lady told her friend bluntly. "He blames himself for John's death, and that's not good for a boy. Not good for anybody. And Gordon isn't helping any. Now, I want to take him away for a few days, maybe weeks, until you've all had a chance to calm down. Until Alan has calmed down."  
  
John sighed, putting his hand to his face, and nodded, saying, "That may be for the best Penny," even though his heart told him otherwise.  
  
"No problem, Jeff. You just get some rest now. You'll need it."  
  
Alan didn't look up when his father walked back inside and touched his shoulder.  
  
"I'll get my things," he said quietly, before Jeff could speak, getting up and going to his room.  
  
"He'll be okay, Jeff," Penelope offered the worried father, "you'll see."  
  
"I hope you're right, Penny. I hope you're right."  
  
Once he had his things together, Alan followed Penelope down to the beach where Parker was waiting. TinTin and Fermat gave Alan a good-bye hug each and Scott and Virgil patted their baby brother's back before he got into the very pink car.  
  
Gordon merely watched from a distance, the anger he had felt abating slightly as he saw Alan's dejected and pained face. He almost, almost made himself go over and apologize, but then he remember how he'd felt as he'd held John's limp body in his arms, and he then turned away, refusing to look back.  
  
"Take care, Alan!" TinTin and Fermat waved as the Rolls Royce flew away, taking Alan with it. Scott and Virgil looked at each other sadly.  
  
"Will Alan be okay, Scott?" Virgil asked.  
  
"I don't know," Scott whispered, "but we can't take care of him now. We can only take care of Gordon and," here he cracked his knuckles, "I'm going to take care of him, alright."  
  
"Scott." Virgil looked at Scott and sighed. "Gordon is just as upset as the rest of us. He doesn't realise what he's saying."  
  
"Brothers ought to stick together," Scott grumbled, "I was upset when Mom died, but I never did that to anyone."  
  
"He's keeping his emotions inside and it's causing him to lash out, especially at Alan." Virgil replied. "If we help him release his emotions he'll learn he doesn't need to keep them bottled up."  
  
"We never did that though, Virg'. We were always open with each other...weren't we?"  
  
"I don't know anymore, Scott, I really don't." Virgil turned and walked back up the beach.  
  
"Virg' wait." Scott ran up the beach and laid a hand on his younger brother's shoulder. "You can't keep it al inside either, you know."  
  
Virgil glanced at the sand before looking at Scott sadly, "What do you want me to say?"  
  
"Something. Anything! This is the most you've said to me since yesterday. What's up? What's wrong, Virg'?"  
  
"What do you THINK is wrong?" Virgil replied. "John is DEAD Scott, and your acting like nothing has happened!"  
  
Scott was taken a back, "What? Like nothings..." Scott looked hurt, deeply hurt. "Do you think I don't care? Is that it, Virg'?"  
  
"Well do you, Scott?" Virgil shot back. TinTin and Fermat looked worried at each other.  
  
"Of course I do," Scott whispered, doing his best to keep his emotions in check, "John was my brother too, but someone has to be the strong one, Virg'. Someone has to make sure this family doesn't fall apart," Scott's voice cracked with motion and tears came to his eyes as he continued, "I'm doing my best, Virgil, but I'm failing."  
  
Virgil saw the over whelming grief in Scott's eyes and was immediately sorry for his angry words. "Oh, Scott," Virgil embraced his older brother tightly. "Being the strong one doesn't mean you have to keep all your emotions hidden, either. Let it out Scott, it's okay." Virgil felt Scott's shoulders shake and he rubbed his back and hair. "I love you, Scott."  
  
Scott didn't say anything, just held his younger brother tightly like he was afraid that if he let go Virgil too would slip away, but he didn't need to tell him he loved him. Virgil knew that Scott letting himself cry, something he considered a weakness and below a team leader, while someone else was watching was an expression of trust and love to great for words.  
  
TinTin and Fermat headed up the beach alone to leave the brothers in peace.  
  
Virgil continued to hold Scott to him, letting him cry out his feelings. "And no matter what happens, Scott, I'll always be with you." The younger brother whispered.  
  
Scott laughed sadly, "haven't you learned by now, Virg'? No one can promise that."  
  
"And haven't you learned, Scott? John promised, mom promised, so I can too. Just because we can't see them doesn't mean they're not here." Virgil pulled back, and then placed a hand over Scott's heart.  
  
Scott smiled down at his brother, and hugged him again. "You always were the one who loved that cheesy stuff." The two brothers both laughed, and Scott held Virgil a little longer before pulling back and ruffling his hair in a brotherly manner. "Come on, let's go. It's been a trying couple of days, and tomorrow we need to get back to work."  
  
Scott headed up the beach first, with Virgil following, but the younger brother paused a moment before looking up into the ever darkening sky that was now lit with thousands of stars and he couldn't help but notice that two stars seemed to shine above the rest.  
  
"Mom, John, we miss you." Virgil whispered, before he followed Scott away from the beach.  
  
**End A/N:** Wow that's long O.o. Well um...review . 


	3. Conversations

**A/N:** Thanks so much for all the reviews you guys . We're taking a vacation to Wales for a week, and we may or may not have the next chapter up by then. If we don't expect it, and the rest of the story, when we get back. Even if we do, the story will be completed before I leave on the ninth of August. Working with a deadline helps .  
  
**Title:** Bonds Unbroken  
  
**_Chapter 3: Conversations_**

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"_The thorns which I have reap'd are of the tree  
  
I planted; they have torn me, and I bleed.  
  
I should have known what fruit would spring from such a seed."  
  
George Gordon, Lord Byron, Childe Harold's Pilgrimage_

_

* * *

_  
Gordon sat looking out his window at sunset the next day. The three remaining members of International Rescue had had plenty of minor rescues to keep them occupied, but now things had calmed down. Now he had to deal with the memories he'd been suppressing for the last forty-eight hours.  
  
_ "John! John!" Five-year-old Gordon raced up to his brother, who was reading The Lord of the Rings on the couch. "John, can you help me with my homework?"  
  
John sat up, putting down the book he'd been reading, and smiled at his little brother. "Sure, kiddo! What's the problem?"  
  
Gordon smiled. Finally a chance to have John all to himself! "Well, I'm having trouble with this one." He held up his paper for his older brother to see.  
  
"That's the letter 'E'." John said, laughing. "Here, you do it like this..." but just as he was about to show him, Alan, then about three and a half years old, came running in, crying.  
  
"John, John! I-I hurted my knee, see? I falled over."  
  
John sighed and walked over, scooping Alan up and heading towards the kitchen and the first aid kit.  
_  
_ "John!" Gordon yelled after him. "What about my homework?"  
  
"I'm sorry, Gordy, but Alan needs me now. I'll be right back, I promise."  
  
"But...but..." the little Gordon protested._  
  
"You never come back," the older version finished.  
  
Virgil walked outside and watched the sun slowly setting under the horizon and he hoped Alan was all right.  
  
His thoughts then went to Gordon and he decided to see if he could speak to him. Vigil went to Gordon's room and knocked on the door.  
  
"Gordon, it's Virgil, can I talk to you?"  
  
"I don't want to talk about my 'feelings', Virgil, so go away." Gordon huffed.  
  
Virgil opened the door and shut it behind him as he walked into the room. "Maybe not, but we need to talk."  
  
"Are the words, go away not in your vocabulary or something? In case not, it means 'I don't want to talk to you so get out and leave me alone', and it does not mean 'come in so we can have a feel good chat'!"  
  
Virgil ignored Gordon and sat down on the edge of his bed, reaching over and ran his fingers through his brother's hair. "You shouldn't have said what you did to Alan. It wasn't his fault John died, it wasn't anyone's fault."  
  
"Virgil stop, okay? Just stop. I don't want to 'share my feelings, I don't want my big brother to make it all better, so you can just quit."  
  
"I'm your brother, talk to me, Gordon. Please, stop pushing me away."  
  
"Virgil! Leave me alone! I'll talk when I'm ready!"  
  
"Will you be ready though, Gordon?" Virgil sighed. "I'm just worried about you, so are dad and Scott."  
  
"Scott," Gordon spat the name, "doesn't worry or care about anyone but himself."  
  
"That's not true, Gordon!" Virgil narrowed his eyes.  
  
"It is so, and you know it!" Gordon glared at his brother angrily. "Scott's never cared about anyone except number one, being himself."  
  
"Scott is our brother, and he cares very deeply for us!" Virgil stood up. "Why are you saying these things?"  
  
"Because its true! You know its true! Why do you stand up for him? He doesn't care about you or anyone else!"  
  
"He does Gordon, even if you can't see it right now. I know he does!"  
  
"How? How do you know?" Tears suddenly came to Gordon's eyes despite his best efforts to stop them. "Has he ever told you, Virgil? Did John ever tell you?"  
  
Virgil was stunned by the fact that Gordon would even suggest these things. He didn't understand. "Yes, of course he has! Scott's always told me!"  
  
"Well, mighty Virgil," Gordon growled, "count how many times you've told me. How many times any of you have told me. How many times is it, Virgil? Think really hard."  
  
Virgil's mouth dropped and suddenly he felt extremely guilty; he hadn't told Gordon many time at all that he cared about him and that he loved him. "I-I thought you knew..."  
  
"In a way, I do," he whispered, "but it's nice to hear it, sometimes. I'm all alone you know. Scott's always looking out for you, and John for Alan, but who has my back, Virgil? Who's watching out for me?"  
  
"We...we all look out for each other, Gordon." Virgil replied, somewhat unsteadily. "Surely you must know that! We're brothers!"  
  
"Don't you understand, Virgil? Who is it that always double checks that you're all right? Who makes sure the things you see on a rescue aren't too much for you? Who comforts you when you're sad? Who is it that makes everything better for you?"  
  
"Scott does," Virgil said quietly. "Are you saying we've neglected you? That we've failed as brothers?"  
  
"Not failed, exactly," Gordon whispered back. "I just...I wanted, I still want, someone to do that for me. I want John to do it. I always did. I just want to feel special, for once."  
  
"I'm sorry, Gordon, truly I am. Do you believe me? I'm sorry we never told you enough how much we love you, but we do, so very much." Virgil sighed. "Is that what you fought Alan over yesterday?"  
  
Slowly, Gordon nodded. "Everyone cares about how you, and Scott, and especially Alan, feel. But what about me?" Tears came to Gordon's brown eyes again. "John is...was my brother, too."  
  
"I know." Virgil tried to wipe the tears from Gordon's eyes. "You still have us, too." He paused a moment, "and John loved you just as much as he loved any of us, he just wasn't able to show it as much as he wanted to." Another pause. "And Alan loves you, too." Virgil touched Gordon's cheek, "do you remember when you had your hydrofoil accident and someone left you a small 'Get well' note by your bedside in the early hours of the morning? It was Alan."  
  
Gordon stared for a bit, and then he suddenly latched on to Virgil, sobbing, "I didn't mean it! I didn't want him to go away. I want them back! I'm so sorry!"  
  
Virgil took his younger brother into his arms and tried to soothe him as best he could, rubbing his back in gentle circles. "I'm sorry, Gordon, John can't come back, but Alan will be back soon and all of us will get through this. It'll take time, but we'll find a way."  
  
"How-how will I-I ever make it u-up to him? I said some a-awful th- things." He was nearly in hysterics now, forty-eight hours of guilt finally finding a release. "I-I could have gotten to-to Alan while you were a-all fighting but I d-didn't. I-I could have been the one in-instead of-of John."  
  
"You can tell him that you're sorry when he gets back and believe me, Alan will forgive you," Virgil replied. "He always has."  
  
Alan put his pack near the door as Lady Penelope took him to one of the many guest rooms, the one next to her room so she could keep an eye on the young man.  
  
"There we are, all nice and settled," she smiled at her young charge. "If you need anything, let me know alright? The bath is through there, and you can put your clothes in there."  
  
"Thank you." Alan said quietly, trying to smile, but it was rather forced. "I appreciate this."  
  
"Any time dear. Supper will be on the table at exactly six O'clock. Don't be late, but do try to get some sleep in the mean time."  
  
Alan nodded and again tried to smile as Lady Penelope left, closing the door behind her. Alan sighed and walked over to the bed, passing a mirror as he did so. Alan halted and stared at his reflection; he was pale and his eyes were red and puffy from crying and he looked older than he actually was. Where was the young man called Alan Tracy, the happy and enthusiastic youngest member of the Tracy family? Where had all his soul and energetic spirit disappeared to? Where was the Alan that they all knew and loved?  
  
_He had died with John._  
  
The thought of John made Alan look out the window to the stars glimmering against the dark sky. It was a clear night, crisp and clean. Alan wondered if John had found they're mother and he wondered if they were both watching him from the heavens above. He never once noticed the tears streaming down his face.  
  
"I'm so sorry." Alan whispered. "I failed you John, I let you down mother, and I'm so very sorry."  
  
Down below, Lady Penelope was pacing the dining room directly below the guest room Alan was occupying, "I'm very concerned about him, Parker. Feeling responsible for the death of one's brother must be terrible, and anyone with eyes could see how close John and Alan were." She took a sip of the tea Parker had offered her. "We must do something for him."  
  
"I agree my lady." Parker said, standing nearby with the said tea resting on a polished silver tray. "But what can we do for young master Tracy?"  
  
"I don't know." She whispered, taking another sip of the tea. "Maybe a few days here will perk him up, but if not we may need to call a professional."  
  
"Very well, my lady." Parker replied with a nod of the head. "I will go and prepare dinner, my lady."  
  
"Thank you, Parker."  
  
Alan came down to dinner that night, but he hardly touched it; grief had long stolen away his appetite. After that Alan returned upstairs to his room and sat on the bed well into the night and on into the early hours before suddenly deciding to try and contact home, even though it was 1 o' clock in the morning. He felt he needed to talk to someone, anyone. Alan took out his small communications device from his pack and activated it.  
  
"Jeff Tracy speaking." Came a tired voice. Jeff had tried to sleep, but every time he drifted off John came to his mind, begging him to save him. It made it very hard to sleep.  
  
"H-Hey dad." Alan spoke quietly, swallowing hard. "I'm sorry I woke you."  
  
"Hello Alan." Jeff smiled at the receiver that held the image of his youngest son. "You didn't wake me, I couldn't sleep and I'm guessing you couldn't either."  
  
"No, I can't." Alan replied. "I miss you dad, I miss all of you. Are alright?"  
  
Alan wanted to hit himself, how could he ask such a stupid question?  
  
"We're coping. The boys have been out on rescues all day. Gordon wasn't at dinner, but Virgil said he was sleeping. How are you Alan? We're worried about you."  
  
"Oh, no need to worry about me dad, you've got enough to worry about already." Alan replied. "I'll be okay. Lady Penelope and Parker are taking good care of me."  
  
"That's good to hear son. We miss you. Remember Alan, you can always come home if you want to. Anytime."  
  
"I know, but I guess I just need some of my own space at the moment." Alan bit his lip, not knowing whether his father knew of the fight between him and Gordon. "Dad, can I ask you something?"  
  
"Of course Alan, whatever you like." Jeff replied.  
  
"Did I-"Alan paused a moment, unsure how to put his question and uncertain how his father would take it. "Did I let John die? Did I really kill him, dad?"  
  
Jeff was momentarily stunned and wished very much Alan was right there with him for him to hold, "No, of course not! Alan, no one can ask you to do more than your best and that's what you did! Whatever made you think otherwise?"  
  
"I hear him, dad." Alan's voice was wavering. "I hear him every time I try to sleep, every time I look at the stars, every time I think of him. He keeps pleasing me to save him, demanding to know why I couldn't save him. Then I hear Scott, Virgil and Gordon's voices; they say it was my fault, that I let John die."  
  
"Oh, Alan." Jeff whispered, not knowing what to say. What could he say when he was experiencing something similar? "It's not your fault Alan. No one blames you."  
  
"Don't they, dad?" Tears started to fall down Alan's ashen face. "Sometimes...sometimes I think it would've been better if I had died. I'm just the youngest brother right? I don't mean much. If I had died then Virgil would still have Scott and Gordon would still have John. I don't think I've ever belonged there anyway."  
  
"Alan, don't you dare say things like that!" Jeff said sternly, though fear was eating at him for his youngest. "John would be horrified if he heard you now! You mean just as much to me as all my sons and you mean just as much to your brothers as John meant to them. We all love you so much Alan, how could you think we don't?"  
  
"I wish I could believe you, dad." Alan whispered, more to himself then to his father. He realised he had said too much and suddenly wanted very much to be alone. "Listen dad, I've got to go. I love you. Tell Scott, Virgil and Gorgon that I love them too. Goodbye dad." He closed the link.  
  
"Alan? Alan!" Jeff reached to hit the button to activate the connection again, but he heard a noise that sounded like a muffled sob. Curious, he walked to his office door and there he found Gordon sitting on the floor, his knees pulled up to his chest, his arms upon them and his head buried in his arms while his shoulders were shaking with quiet sobs.  
  
"Gordon?" Jeff walked towards his son and knelt down in front of him, touching his shoulders.  
  
"It's my fault!" Gordon cried. "It's all my fault! I-I never meant to say those things to Alan! I never meant to fight with him!"  
  
"Fight with him?" Jeff felt very confused. Obviously something had happened the previous day that he had missed. "What happened Gordon? Please tell me, I need to know."  
  
"I-I yelled at Alan, I fought with him. I said that it was his fault John was dead because he couldn't reach him, and I...I said it should've been him."  
  
For the second time that night, Jeff Tracy found himself at a loss for words, "Why would you say things like that Gordon? He's your little brother!"  
  
"I don't know!" Gordon sobbed. "I was just...so angry with him...and jealous. Virgil always had Scott to look after him and Alan always had John. Who was there for me dad? I didn't have anyone!"  
  
Jeff had to admit he had a point. When Lucille had died he hadn't been able to be with his boys as much as he would've liked, so they were largely in charge of themselves. Virgil had been an energetic and curious boy, requiring almost all of Scott's attention and it quickly became a habit for them. Alan had been so little that he needed more care time than Scott could afford, and with Virgil rough and Gordon too little, the care of him had fallen to gentle young John and that too had been habit forming. Gordon had been an independent little thing, and they all assumed he would simply stay that way, but while he was still fairly self-reliant they had forgotten that sometimes he needed to hear their words of love.  
  
Jeff gently wrapped his arms around his son and held him tight, "I'm here for you, my little fish, I'm here."  
  
"I'm so sorry dad." Gordon said quietly, burying his face against his father's chest. "I want Alan to come home."  
  
"Then tell him." Jeff whispered, gently running his fingers through the back of his son's hair. "He needs to hear it from you. I can't do it for you and neither can Scott or Virgil. You have to tell him yourself."  
  
"I will dad." Gordon replied. "I will, tomorrow I will tell him."  
  
"Hey Scott?" Virgil approached his older brother, who was standing by the pool the following morning watching the sunrise. "Can I talk to you a moment?"  
  
Scott smiled tiredly at his brother, "Couldn't sleep either? As well, can't be helped. What's on your mind, brother of mine?"  
  
"Well actually, I wasn't trying to sleep." Virgil replied as he stood next to Scott. "I was thinking about Gordon. I think we need to spend a lot more time with him from now on."  
  
Scott tried to hide his displeasure at the thought, though only partially succeeded. Obviously he was still mad at him. Gordon, having awoken from where he's fallen asleep on the couch in his dad's office, got up and began walking towards his room when he heard Scott's voice and froze.  
  
"Why? We spend more than enough time with that little troublemaker as it is. Besides, he's not interested in the 'brotherly' thing. He's the one always pushing the rest of us away."  
  
"Oh come on Scott, that's not true and it's not fair to say that it is." Virgil's eyes narrowed. "He's our younger brother!"  
  
"He's also a troublemaker. He's always picking fights or hurting some one's feelings. He doesn't want to hangout with us and I'm not going to force him, because I don't particularly feel like being subject to it either. Face it Virg, it's a hopeless cause to tame that crazy shark."  
  
"There's a lot more to Gordon than you think, then you want to admit. Scott, can you remember the last time we told Gordon how much he means to us? I can't and it makes me feel like I've failed as an older brother. He's lonely, he feels left out, like he doesn't belong! How could we make him feel like that?"  
  
When Scott didn't answer Virgil's eyes flashed.  
  
"Aren't you supposed to know these things Scott? You're supposed to be the eldest brother here."  
  
Scott's faced showed unmasked hurt before his automatic defences kicked in and his face became unreadable. Though Scott himself believed what Virgil said to be true, he would not tolerate being told as much, "I'm not omnipotent Virgil. I'm not perfect, and I've told Gordon what a great kid he is every time he needed it."  
  
"No Scott, you haven't." Virgil replied, his voice toned low. "None of us have, but you especially have never seen it, or maybe you didn't want to see it! Is that it Scott? Can't be bothered with anyone but yourself?"  
  
"Who's the one that stays up night after night to make sure we're prepared for anything we may come up against so we don't lose a life? Who's the one who could be having an excellent career in the state, but instead stays here to look after you lot and dad? Who's the one who's always first in on a mission to ensure it's safe?" Scott's eyes flashed as Virgil's had before, with anger unlike the eldest Tracy son. "But who's the one here who spends hours doing nothing but drawing? Who's the one who has all the little toys so he doesn't have to go directly into battle? Who's the one who won't give up the girlfriend even though she's a danger to us? If you want to call someone selfish Virgil and be right about it then go talk to a mirror!"  
  
If Scott had wanted to say anymore he never got a chance. A solid punch from Virgil snapped his head back and then he found himself rolling over the floor as his younger brother tackled him.  
  
Scott, the taller and certainly stronger of the pair, quickly pinned Virgil down, though he never did throw a punch, "Don't dish it out if you can't take it Virgil! Haven't I taught you anything?!"  
  
Gordon stood with his mouth agape. Scott and Virgil fighting each other?! He couldn't remember this ever happening before in his life and now the sight of it made him sick to his stomach.  
  
"Oh yes Scott, you've certainly taught me something's." Virgil snarled. "And if you want to dish it out then go right ahead! Don't let me stop you! How long 'till you forget me too, huh? And as for pushing people away I seem to remember a certain big brother pushing everyone away after mother died, so caught up in his own grief he never saw those who were suffering around him!"  
  
At this Scott lost all control. It was an unspoken pact between the older three brothers never to speak of what happened after the death of their mother. The violation of that pact caused Scott to hit Virgil so hard his nose began to bleed as well as his mouth where his teeth cut into his lip, yelling "Shut up!" the entire time.  
  
Virgil managed to get his own hits in, smacking Scott across the jaw and face again before managing to flip his older brother over his head, no easy task, and scramble to his feet, "What's the matter Scott? Can't face the truth?"  
  
Scott attacked low, tackling Virgil from the knees, and the two went sliding across the floor. Scott grabbed Virgil by the shirt and pinned him underneath him again, his scabbed knees now firmly holding his brother's arms down.  
  
"What is your problem?" Scott yelled. "Have I offended you in someway? Given you any reason to hurt me? If I have then please tell me! I'm your brother Virgil, give me a chance!"  
  
"I have Scott!" Virgil replied. "I've given you so many chances, but you just don't see them! Are you blind or something?!"  
  
"Well what the hell am I supposed to be making up for? Tell me!"  
  
"I shouldn't have to tell you Scott. If you can't see it now then you really should consider if you really are being a good older brother."  
  
Confused and angry, Scott gave Virgil one final shove before getting to his feet and managed only to spit out two words, "Get out!"  
  
Virgil slowly stood up, wiped his mouth and nose and then walked away from his elder brother with his own anger.  
  
Scott remained standing where he was, staring at the spot where Virgil had just been, his fists clenched so tightly that he was nearly drawing blood.  
  
"What have I done?" Scott wondered aloud.  
  
Not far away, his brown-eyed, broken-hearted younger brother they had been fighting about wondered the same thing.  
  
**TBC**...and reviews are very, very nice!


	4. Repitition

**A/N:** Finally chapter you guys! I have to admit we've really enjoyed this story, and have started several others. When they're done we'll post them, so you can see! Keep a look out, though, for my upcoming solo fic **_'Fallen Stars'_**. Hopefully coming soon!

**_Chapter 4: Repetition_**

* * *

_"Forgiveness is the fragrance the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it." Mark Twain_

* * *

It had been two days since Scott and Virgil had said more than absolutely necessary to each other, and it was beginning to drive Gordon mad. They would be this immature over one ridiculous little fight? Mind, he wasn't one to talk, really, but still someone had to do something, and since Jeff was still mostly lost in his own grief, Gordon decided to take matters into his own hands. With a reluctant heart and small, tentative steps he approached his older brother as he sat by the pool.

"Hey, Scott."

Scott tensed a little, but managed to reply with a, "what" though his voice was practically emotionless.

TinTin, who was swimming nearby, watched Gordon flinch at Scott's voice, but then set his face again and step closer, barely in arms reach.

"I just...I...I wanted to see...if you were okay."

"Oh yes, sure," Scott mocked. "I have my younger brother accusing me of not being a good big brother, I have you asking me stupid questions, and I have one brother who's dead. Yeah, life is good."

TinTin could see what Scott couldn't, as he had his back to his younger brother, and she thought the look on Gordon's face was heartbreaking.

"Scott, I...I'm sorry. I didn't mean to turn Virgil against you. I didn't mean for any of this to happen."

"Easy for you to say," Scott muttered.

"Just get off his back, Scott!" Virgil intervened, walking outside.

"No, Virgil," Gordon whispered. "I...I need to do this on my own." He took a deep breath and stood directly behind his oldest brother. "I'm so sorry, Scott. I don't mean to fight with you or Alan. I think I just want attention, or something. I don't know. I don't know why I do the things I do but...I'm sorry."

"I'm sure you age, but it's a little late isn't it?"

"Scott! He's apologizing, just accept it and let's move on!"

"I'm sorry, okay! I don't know what else I can do to make it up to you, to Alan! I'll do anything!"

TinTin sighed in disgust and swam away from the three arguing brothers and headed for the side of the pool. She suddenly paused when she saw something shining at the bottom, and she dived down to retrieve it. When she surfaced again she opened her hand and found the star pendant that Alan had lost on the day of his fight with Gordon.

"Scott, please. I know I can't make everything right, but at least tell me where I can begin to try." Gordon was pleading to his brother's back now, fighting tears. Before Scott could open his mouth again there was a shout.

"Stop it!"

Scott, Virgil, and Gordon all turned to face TinTin, who looked angrier than she had done in a long time.

Gordon took one look at her, and then looked away. 'Great, who haven't I got mad at me now?' he thought, the feeling of sadness and self-loathing returning full force.

"All three of you, just stop it," TinTin said. "All of this fighting is getting you no where! Do you think John would like to see you at each other's throats? You need each other, you're brothers. Do you want to find out how much you mean to each other by another brother dying? And besides..." TinTin held out the star pendant in her hand. "You have another brother who needs you."

Scott and Virgil stood completely still, while Gordon reached out and took the pendant. "Alan," he whispered, and then looked at TinTin, "where did you get this?"

"I found it at the bottom of the pool," she replied.

Gently, Gordon closed his hand around the silver charm, "I need to see Alan. Now. I'm going to tell dad where I'm going, and then I'm going to see him. You two can go with me, or not. It's up to you, but I am going."

As Scott and Virgil stood up, ready to follow Gordon, they heard their father's voice.

"I'm here, Penelope, go on."

The three brothers, and TinTin, crowded by the door of their father's office to listen in.

"Jeff, I'm afraid Alan has gone."

"What?" Gordon whispered.

"He left about two hours ago," Penelope continued. "I went to check on him just now. His room was empty and all I found was a letter, which reads:

To Lady Penelope,

Thank you for your hospitality and patience with me, but I can't stay any longer. The thoughts of John and what could've been are driving me to hell and I just want it to stop.

Please tell dad I love him and my brothers too, and please tell Gordon I'm sorry I took John away from him. I never meant to, and I hope he believes me.

I'll tell mom and John how much you miss them when I find them.

-Alan."

Jeff swore loudly, the first time his boy's had ever heard him do so, and jumped to his feet, "I have to find him!"

Gordon, however, was faster. The minute Penelope had finished, he too off so fast, and so blinded by unshed tears, that he nearly tripped right over the couch that lead to Thunderbird 3. As he raced toward the Thunderbirds he whispered, "hang on, Alan. I'm coming."

Alan had walked as far as he could walk, gone as long as he could go, and now he was standing on the plateau. The ocean waves crashed roughly around the rocks below him and the spray showered his face. His eyes were filled with unshed tears as he stared over the cliff edge and down below.

It would be so easy. Just one more step and no more guilt, no more pain...

A whoosh of air and the roar of engines behind him caught his attention. There was Thunderbird 2 landing, but before it had quite touched down, Alan could see Gordon jumping out and running toward him.

"Alan, stop please! Don't!"

Alan blinked slowly before turning his head so he could see Gordon, but he didn't step away from the edge. "How did you find me?"

"Does it matter? Alan, this won't solve anything! Don't jump, please, we need you still!"

"John told you, didn't he?"

Gordon had almost reached him by now, and was about ready to reach and pull him back. "Alan, stop this. Come home with us. We love you. I love you, Alan!"

"Just answer me!" Alan yelled, wanting to step back. "Did John tell you?"

"Yes, he did, if it makes you happy! I just knew where to find you, if you wanna' believe it was John, then do so."

"I thought he might, feared he would." Alan replied. "Gordon...I don't belong."

"Yes you do, Alan!" Gordon was confident he could reach him now, especially with Scott and Virgil right behind him. "You're our brother, Alan. You'll always belong!"

"Maybe...maybe if I go...John will come back..." he stepped off the edge.

Virgil froze, "no...No!"

"Alan!" Scott yelled. He and Virgil both ran forward, but Gordon was closer and faster. Without hesitation he raced toward the cliff's edge, and dove off after his brother.

"Gordon!" Virgil and Scott raced to the cliff edge and just saw Gordon disappear into the water in a flawless dive.

"Scott, look." Virgil pointed out a path down to the small stretch of beach nearby.

"Come on!" Scott lead the way down, feeling sick to his stomach and watching the ocean the whole time.

Underwater, Gordon was searching the salty, dark water with stinging eyes. Anything, any sign of Alan, he had to find. He couldn't let Alan die! He had let John die, by not saving Alan. He would not make such a mistake again. Suddenly, in the murky water, Gordon's fingers came into contact with material. He grasped it tightly and pulled. Alan's unconscious face came out at him from the shadows.

Wasting no time, the aquanaut pulled Alan up toward the surface, conserving as much of his quickly dwindling oxygen supply as possible while checking Alan's vital stats. He noticed he still had a fairly steady pulse, but he wasn't holding his breath. Gordon supposed the shock of the cold water had forced him to inhale, because the body's natural instinct was to survive.

Gordon looked up at the surface and frowned. If he didn't get air into his brother he would die before they got there. Making sure Alan's arms were down, so he would naturally float up (though he would still keep kicking), he placed his hands on Alan's arms to hold him still, and firmly placed his mouth over Alan's mouth and nose. He released a bit of his own held breath, forcing oxygen, and albeit a little seawater, into his brother's lungs.

Gordon kept this up for so long, thinking only to keep Alan alive until the reached the surface, that by the time they actually got close he was depending more on Alan's floating than anything, because he was nearly unconscious himself. He looked up and thought he saw a hand reaching down to help them. With one final strong kick he reached up and grabbed the hand. It pulled him to the surface and, as he struggled to breath, Gordon only dimly noticed that no one was there.

Quickly he held Alan to him, keeping his head above the water as he checked his vital signs again. The first thing he was aware of was that Alan still wasn't breathing, but he did have a pulse, even if it was weaker than the last time.

As quickly as he could, Gordon swam to shore, meeting Scott part of the way and the two brothers got Alan to shore.

"H-he's not breathing," Gordon gasped as Scott lay Alan down on the sand. Scott wasted no time. He tilted Alan's head back, pinched his nose shut and opened his mouth wide as he took a breath and fit his mouth over Alan's forcing air into his lungs.

Gordon wanted to help, but it was taking all his strength to remain standing and force himself to breath. He wouldn't allow himself to fall until he was sure Alan was okay, but he really didn't feel well...

Scott continued breathing air into Alan's still lungs, hoping his younger brother would start to breathe again, praying he would not lose another younger brother.

Suddenly Alan jerked upwards, gasping deeply for air and the three brothers couldn't hide their relief, but Alan's breathing was terribly laboured and there was a gurgling sound every time he inhaled and exhaled.

"Hold him over your knee, Scott," Gordon instructed. "We need to get the water out of his lungs. Make sure he's face down."

Scott nodded quickly, and eased Alan to rest against his knees while Virgil held his unconscious brother's shoulders, keeping him in place. Trying to be as gentle as it was possible to be, and still have it work, Gordon hit Alan in the middle of his back with his palm, trying to force him to cough up the water.

"Come on, Alan," Scott murmured. "Cough up the water."

As if hearing Scott, Alan suddenly burst to life. He coughed very hard, bringing up a lungful of water, his breathing gradually getting clearer.

"Thank goodness," Virgil breathed, helping Alan sit up and then holding him close. Gordon just sat on the wet sand, coughing and blinking. He felt dizzy, and he was sure he had swallowed enough seawater to fill a good sized lake, but as long as Alan made it, he'd be okay too...he hoped.

While Virgil moved to take Alan back to Thunderbird 2 and tend to him, Scott noticed Gordon slump down on the sand, coughing. He knelt beside him, and gently patted his back. "Gordon?"

Gordon looked at Scott, and tried to offer some reassurance, but found that nothing would come out. He struggled to inhale but found he couldn't. Fighting panic, Gordon looked at his eldest brother with frightened eyes. A shout from Virgil, however, soon had both of their attentions.

"Scott! Gordon! Watch out!"

Scott and Gordon both turned sharply and came face to face with the Hood. Scott felt pure rage build up inside him, and Gordon could think of several very nasty things he wanted to scream at him, but since it was all he could do to take short, loud, gasping breaths he figured he was going to miss his chance.

"Leave my brothers alone!" Scott snarled. "You've already taken one, I won't let you take another!"

"Touch him then, Scott," the Hood smiled. Gordon, understandably shocked, found himself in the air, trying harder and harder to breath.

Scott's eyes widened as he looked up at Gordon, a feeling of déjà vu sweeping over him, only now he was in Alan's place. "I won't play your sick games! Let them go! NOW!"

"Scott!" Gordon managed to wheeze out. "Scott, help me!"

Scott looked up at Gordon and, grinding his teeth together and gathering his strength, he began to jump to reach Gordon, but whenever he got close the Hood would lift Gordon higher. Scott yelled in frustration.

'I'm going to die,' Gordon thought in a wild panic. 'I am going to die.' He looked at Scott with terrified, pleading eyes. 'Scott...help...please...'

"Come on Scott!" Virgil screamed. This couldn't be happening. Wasn't happening. Not again.

Scott was oblivious to the tears slipping down his cheeks as again he jumped for Gordon and missed. Then something caught his eye, and he froze, staring towards Virgil and Alan with wide eyes. Standing, though that wasn't exactly the correct word because his feet didn't touch the ground, next to oblivious Virgil was John. His face was calm, and his blue eyes focused on Scott.

In his head, Scott heard John's voice, 'You can save him, Scott. I know you can.'

"John..." Scott whispered. John just smiled knowingly and nodded. Scott was able to tear his eyes away from John to look up at Gordon and once more set his features into a determined expression. He was Scott Tracy, eldest son of Jeff and Lucille Tracy; he would NOT lose another of his beloved brothers! And Scott felt John's quiet strength flow through his veins, setting them alight.

Scott jumped one last time, and never again would he jump as high as he did in that moment.

Gordon, now focusing on staying awake, didn't feel Scott's hands grab his ankles, but everyone else saw it.

The Hood let out a yell of rage, but Virgil cheered.

"Yes! Scott! You did it!"

The Hood, though evil, was a man of his word. That did not, however, mean he had to like it. With another yell of rage he pretty much threw Gordon and Scott to the ground, and walked away. More worried about his brothers' safety then revenge, Virgil let him go.

Scott coughed as he slowly pushed himself up from the sand, blinking the tiny grains from his eyes. He looked over and saw Gordon lying very still.

"Gordon!" Scott took Gordon into his arms and felt dread wash over him as he looked at his pale face. "Gordon...wake up, oh please wake up!" With shaking hands Scott checked Gordon's breathing and pulse. Such was his panic, and so faint Gordon's breathing and pulse, that Scott felt nothing. 'I was too late. I was to late again.' Scott began to cry, holding Gordon's head against his chest. "I'm so sorry, Gordon! I don't hate you. I love you, Gordon, do you hear me? I love you! I'm sorry I never told you enough. I should have taken ever opportunity to tell you just how much I love you. I'm sorry, Gordon. So very sorry."

"I...I love...you too...Scott..."

Scott inhaled sharply and looked down at the half-conscious Gordon through tear-filled eyes. "Oh thank you," he whispered to the heavens as he continued to hold Gordon up against his chest. He then looked around and saw that Virgil and Alan were all right, but it was then he noticed that John was gone. "John?"

Virgil walked over, Alan leaning on his shoulder, "you okay, Scott?"

Slowly, Scott nodded, "I'm fine, Virg'"

"I want to go home," Alan said.

"Lets go...home...Scott. Please?" Gordon whispered tiredly, leaving his head where it was.

Scott smiled, ruffling Gordon's hair and kissing his forehead. "Sure, squirt," he said fondly, "we'll go home." He carefully picked Gordon up and turned to Virgil and Alan. "Come on, let's go home. Where we all belong."

Virgil smiled at Scott, and at Gordon, who looked happy and safe being held by his big brother. He shifted Alan's weight slightly so that he was practically carrying the younger boy, and then turned to get back up the cliff to his beloved Thunderbird.

"Thank you, Scott," Gordon whispered, his hand clutching tightly to Scott's shirt. "You're the best big brother."

"Couldn't agree with you more, Gordon!" Virgil called.

Scott and Virgil's eyes met and the two smiled. The rift between them was instantly sealed. Still smiling, Virgil half-carried Alan back up to Thunderbird 2 and helped him to lie on one of the chairs. "Don't worry, Alan. We'll take care of you now. You're safe."

Alan managed a weak smile and nodded. Scott followed Virgil into Thunderbird 2 with Gordon, and he sat down next to Alan, reluctant to let him go. He smiled and turned to Virgil in a teasing voice said, "Hey Virg', do you know how to fly this thing by yourself or do you need big brother's help?"

Virgil rolled his eyes, taking his seat up front. "I don't know, Scott. It may be tricky, but I think I can manage." His voice adopted a more serious tone. "How's Gordon?"

"He's fallen asleep."

"You did what I couldn't, Scott," Alan said quietly. "I can't help but feel I failed him." Scott looked at Alan and reached over, touching his face gently.

"Everything happens for a reason," the eldest brother replied, "and we may never know the reason or understand why, but it was John's time to leave. If it hadn't have been, then you would have saved him, I know it."

Alan smiled slightly, finding comfort in his words, "thanks, Scott."

"And John knows you would've saved him, too." Scott added. "You maybe the youngest, but you're still a Tracy and we love you, whatever may happen, remember that."

Alan smiled again, and laid his head on Scott's hand. He was asleep before Virgil got Thunderbird 2 in the air.

Virgil walked out to stand by the side of the pool and smiled as he watched Alan, Gordon, and TinTin try to dunk each other under the water. Fermat was sitting on the edge of the pool, laughing with his father, and Scott was laying on a deck chair nearby. Virgil walked over. "Hey, Scott?"

"Hm?" The oldest Tracy brother responded lazily, feeling contented. Two weeks had passed since their second scare, and Alan and Gordon had quite recovered. Stormy nights were still hard for Alan, but he was healing. All in all, things were looking better.

Virgil sat in a chair next to him before giving him a canvas with a painting on it. "I found some old photos of us as kids with mom, so I just...did that for you." The painting was of Scott as a child with their mother, laughing and hugging.

Scott stared at it for a moment, before smiling up at his brother. "Thanks, Virg'. This, well it means a lot to me."

Virgil smiled in return and nodded, "Dad seemed to like it too when I showed it to him. You defiantly have mom's eyes, Scott."

Scott smiled at him, pleased at the comment, and ran his hand through his hair. "You should do more of these, Virg'. This one is going to hang in my room."

Virgil chuckled, "I should've become an artist!" Virgil looked back to Scott. "Yeah, I may do some more."

"You are an artist," Scott lowered his voice so that Alan and Gordon couldn't hear. "Can I make a special request for a picture, Virg'?"

Virgil blushed a little at the compliment, but nodded, "sure, what would you like?"

"John had a picture of him and mom that I always loved. Would you be up to painting it for me?"

"Sure, Scott, I'd love to," Virgil replied fondly.

Scott reached into his pocket and pulled out his wallet, and then removed from it the very same picture John had shown Alan on the day of his death. He reverently put the picture in Virgil's hand. "That's my very favourite picture of both of them. Mind that you take care of it."

Virgil fingered the picture very carefully, "I'll be extra careful with it. I'll get started right now." He got to his feet and began walking inside.

"Hey, Virgil, why don't you stay a while? You're the only one not here. Just, stay a while."

"Sounds like an invitation," Virgil grinned. "Don't mind if I do." Virgil walked back and sat down beside Scott.

Scott grinned back, and then he turned to watch his brother's again. Gordon had managed to force Alan underwater, but had paid for it by having TinTin dump a bunch of water over his head. Alan surfaced again, laughing and spluttering at the same time. He then looked to the side and froze, his eyes becoming wide and his mouth fell open.

Gordon wiped the hair out of his eyes, and was about to seek his revenge when he noticed his brother. "Alan? What is it?"

Alan said nothing so Gordon and TinTin swam over, and then they saw what Alan could.

"Mom? John?" Gordon whispered in shock, catching Virgil and Scott's attention. The two eldest looked to where the others were, and froze. There, on the very edge of the terrace stood a young woman, her long blonde hair pulled into a low, loose ponytail. Her blue eyes were soft and sparkling as she looked at the boys before her. Next to her stood a young man who could have been her twin. He was smiling at them.

"Mom...John..." Virgil breathed softly. The two figures seemed to hear, for they smiled all the brighter. Then, they both raised their hands in a gesture of farewell, for now at least. The four Tracy boys all raised a hand in reply. They understood that while this was the chance for a proper goodbye, it was also a reminder that they would never be alone.

'Alan,' Alan jumped as John's voice intruded into his head, 'I don't blame you, Alan, and I love you. I'm always with you, brother mine. Always.'

Alan smiled and stared right at John, seeing the knowing look in his eyes. "I love you John," he whispered.

'I love you too, Alan,' John looked over at Scott and gave him a special smile. 'Take care of them, fearless leader. Especially Gordon, you'll never realise how special he is, until you lose him. I didn't. You look after yourself, Scott, and I'll see you on the other side.'

Scott smiled proudly, tears glistening over his eyes though not from sorrow, but joy. "I will, I promise." He whispered, "I'll see you there, someday."

With one last smile for Virgil and Gordon, John looked down at his mother. With tears in her blue eyes she nodded. She blew them one last kiss, and then the two of them disappeared.

And all was silent as minds tried to comprehend what their eyes had seen. There were answers that had been given and many questions yet remaining, but one thing was clear above all others; the Tracy family would never be separated, not even by death.

The Thunderbirds would forever be go.

**End A/N: **Well, what do you think? The story is done, and our wrists hurt. Please, join our wrist hurting club, and write a review ;


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